Now ask yourself: Would your partner's earnings cover the household budget, at least for the next year? Before answering, don't forget to factor in the costs of your working. Dual-income couples are taxed at a higher rate. Add in the cost of commuting, wardrobe, and those deli lunches -- and you may be surprised by how little of your paycheck remains.
If the decision's still too close to call, look for ways to trim expenses. Could you forego the gym membership, freeze new clothing purchases, skip the vacation this year? With a few strategic cuts, you may find that you can live comfortably on one income. There are, however, some long-term sacrifices to consider. While home, you won't be contributing to your k or social security.
And getting back on your career track may be challenging. To ease your eventual reentry, Hobey advises:. You'd like to return to work, but now your question is: full time or part time? The answer will depend on your family's finances as well as on your career aspirations.
While some 74 percent of American companies now offer some type of job flexibility, you do run the risk of being "mommy tracked" -- blocked from juicier assignments or promotions -- if you cut back your hours, says Hobey.
That doesn't mean, however, that you can't lobby your boss for a saner schedule. Would 7 to 3 work better than 9 to 5? How about four hour days? Or could you work from home a couple of days a week to eliminate the commute? If returning part time is a viable and desirable option for you, break down your existing job into its discrete tasks and figure out which you'd prefer to keep, and which you could surrender. Once you've settled on a work plan, approach your boss with a written proposal, suggests Hobey.
But you'll improve your odds tremendously if you present a written proposal that your boss cannot dismiss without serious consideration. Point out, for example, that a 7 to 3 schedule will allow you to focus more during the early morning hours when the office and phones are quiet. The goal is to convince your employer that granting your request makes good business sense. It's not just marriage and kids.
I know this may sound silly, but working gives me a reason to get dressed up in something nice and put on makeup every day -- and that just makes me feel better about myself. I take delight in the way she enjoys her music, gym, and dance classes.
Being with her and seeing how she's developed has given me a lot of confidence, both as a mom and as a human being. All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only.
Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others. Go Back to Work or Stay Home?
By Marguerite Lamb March 08, Save Pin FB More. Mom in suit kisses husband, mom holding baby. Working It Out You'd always planned to return to work, but with your restart date only weeks away, you're dreading leaving your baby. Be proactive about making new-mom friends. At first, approaching other new moms, at the park or library, will feel a bit like dating.
You'll chat a while, trade phone numbers, then think: "If I call too soon, will I seem overly eager? Will she think I'm a weird stalker-mom? Pick up the phone.
Do things that give you a sense of accomplishment. Like most life transitions, returning to work was rife with mixed emotions. Returning to work when your mind and body are still adjusting to the new normal of being a parent can feel overwhelming, stressful and exciting all at once. My heart ached at the thought of leaving my daughter for five days a week after having 15 months together and just when it was starting to feel easier, too. At the same time, I love my career and wanted to go back to work.
It was a constant push and pull. Organizations have a responsibility to foster respectful and equitable work environments with flexible hours, private pumping rooms, job-sharing options and subsidized child care. Although some companies are on the ball when it comes to supporting new parents, many still need to catch up.
And for those who are self-employed, the transition can feel especially daunting when the onus really does seem to rest largely on you. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and then cry, laugh, journal or call a friend. If you feel guilty, remember that guilt is an emotion that has evolved to trigger us when we are doing something wrong.
But going back to work to support your family is never wrong. Ask yourself, What are your work priorities? A shorter week? Projects that require less travel? The option to work from home? A well-deserved raise? In the meantime, write down your goals as intentions for the future—one day, that hour work week might actually become a reality. It also sends the message that you are motivated and value your job and creates a chance to discuss expectations about your return from both sides.
My husband joined me on maternity leave to help with our new baby, but honestly? It wasn't great A little organization goes a long way my apologies to those who are averse to planning who are cringing right now—just bear with me.
Plan out your new morning routine and maybe try a dry run a couple of days before you launch timer optional but recommended. Great Place to Work, a company that evaluates workplaces around the globe, has recommended that employers provide moms with a concierge service to run their errands while they work um, yes, please!
Do as much as you can to simplify mornings, like packing lunches and ironing the night before. A study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that, on average, it takes 66 days to create a new habit , so after a couple of months, you should be making meal plans in your sleep.
It easily becomes a downward spiral. In addition to unhealthy thoughts, guilty feelings may lead to unhealthy actions. You also might overcompensate for your guilty feelings by doing too much for your kids. Perhaps you never say no or you let them eat a lot of junk food—because it temporarily relieves your guilt. Unnecessary guilt might also lead to self-punishment though.
Guilt can cause you to neglect yourself in many different ways. It can contribute to the vicious cycle of self-perpetuating guilt. Here are some helpful ways to manage your guilty feelings :. Whether you choose to go back to work full-time or part-time, you choose to work from home, or you decide to be a stay-at-home parent, the choice is always up to you.
Many moms welcome the adult interaction and satisfaction they gain from employment. Get it free when you sign up for our newsletter. Work, Employment and Society. May Data from the EDEN mother—child cohort study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. American Journal of Public Health.
Buehler C, Obrien M. Mothers part-time employment: Associations with mother and family well-being. Journal of Family Psychology. Published Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellFamily.
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